KD, unfortunately SS21 will never be able to live on his own or even in a group home setting; his moods are too volatile, and in the 11 years we have been together he has been dismissed from 3 programs because of his repeated outbursts. He is currently attending a local day program for special-needs adults, and the staff is used to working with more challenging cases such as his.. Pennsylvania has good funding resources so we have been fortunate to have these programs available.
I do not want to paint a picture of W as negligent. She has been remarkable in her level of patience, empathy and understanding, and has sacrificed a lot of personal time and goals to care for SS. And there, I think, is the problem. I see her in stages of a MLC, and she has just had enough. Last night I overheard her talking to her sister and she said, "I'm tired of everyone." I sympathize with that; it's taken a toll on our M, as you can imagine. 2 days ago SS was up-awake-for over 24 hours; it's just part of the autism. And if he's awake, we are all awake. Yesterday he and W got into a tiff and he then ran out of the house while she was in the bathroom. Had to call the local police to help look for him.
My frustration is not a result of her exhaustion or her desire to check out, but what do I do to keep the situation from getting worse? If I say anything about what I see as a possible problem, she lights up and tears into me. That has been going on since day one. Any comment, by anyone, is perceived by W as a criticism of her parenting. For now, I offer help in any way and continue to take up the slack as needed.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
