Is it really never too late?

[grebjack]

Oy, where are the inspirational success stories? I'm responding to a post that says divorce busted in 2005 and I quit in 2011. Is Divorce Busting really a way to avoid divorce, or is it just a way to prolong the agony?

I am legally almost 11 years married, but my marriage ended in December of 2007 and my husband hasn't lived with me since June 2008. I spend my solitary time on the rollercoaster from bummed to miserable to despondent to suicidally hopeless and back. My coach encouraged me to back off (I learned the language of going dark from the boards) but I wimped out in March and asked him if I could take him out to lunch for his birthday. Since then we have started settling in to the kind of comfortable friendship I have with the couple other men I fell for before I met my husband. I had a moment of genuine happiness last spring when my lilies started blooming and it shocked me because I realized that I almost never feel that way anymore. But I still feel it when I'm in his presence - just content with the world.

I know I'm supposed to be getting a life. So I've spent the past three years tearing out my lawn and turning it into a big garden of flowers and vegetables. I lost thirty pounds and ran my first ever road race last summer. The school I helped found graduated 100% of its senior class and sent them all off to college, and I got a teaching award. By any standard except how I feel, I appear to be doing great, but I feel like I died three years ago and I've got another forty years to wait before my body gets the memo.