Harrier

[Harrier]

MZ - no problem with talking a lot on the thread. It ain't mine.

anywho - thumbnail sketch. Feb. 2010 - I start feeling my W is pulling way. I start lots of fights with her and accuse her of "something's going on." At the end of the month, I tell her I think I'm depressed and also tell her about the pulling away.
She starts to correct her action, but I'm still suspicious.

I get on Anti-Ds and take them til May. The side effects are too much. Much of the summer is up and down. a few good days, then fights. My w trying to accomodate my affection demands, things are going crazy at work for her, etc. During this time I also threaten divorce numerous times or made hurtful comments. At times I also threaten suicide at times.

I also start to focus on her working relationship with a mentor. I warn her repeatedly. She tells me nothings going on and at the time, it wasn't, but I was worried.

By August, I'm back on some Anti Ds with no side effects. She starts working 1 day a week at the Mentor's office. I have huge problems with it. Anxiety attacks every Monday that she works for him. I snoop and start to see things changes.
I don't want to be an a-hole husband who doesn't trust his wife and when she volunteers to quit, I say no.

By October, she has developed "a strong connection" to this mentor. What I feared came true. She talks to the mentor about her feelings - to set up work boundaries. Turns out the feelings are mutual. I come unglued at this point, lots of fights, stress, hurting.

In early Nov. I see the worst of the EA by snooping. The emails have a sexual inference. Basically she was telling him she was thinking of him and different scenarios in her "alone time" if you get my drift. Now mind you my wife is very prudish when it comes to talking about this -- even to me in good times. I was shocked. I confront her.

a week later, I found out she lied to me about going to his office. After I confront her, she tells me she wants a D. A week later is still firm in her decision. I DB now (my wife actually set me up on this).

By late Nov. my W takes the D off the table, but she is still talking/working for OM. In early december. W "catches" me driving by the OM's office. I was seeing if she was there. She is pissed. We drive home, I think the final bomb is coming. But she says she will stop contact with OM and start MC, calls the guy in front of me. She wants to work on M and can't with OM.

Rest of December was rocky, but better. No OM contact. I eff up several times. In Late Jan. she starts to contact OM again on work related matters, very in frequently. I don't like it and tell her so.

That kinda leads us to here. The MC was very beneficial. We improved a lot, but I keep sabotaging our progress by getting mad at her or snooping. She keeps contact with OM, but won't give me 100% transparency. She does tell me when she has major contact with him.

She wonders why I keep sabotaging our progress - is it because I really want out and don't have the stones. This leads to my conclusion that I had some WAH/MLC deal last Feb.

Okay..that's longer than thumbnail.