Sorry but I am not sure I want to do that "englightening" here. You can ask her GYN. It also depends on what type of UTI she has. What type of bacteria, for instance.
Some bacteria come from our digestive tract so if that's the type of infection she has, it means you need to be careful about placement of your body parts in hers...God, I hope I'm being clear. Can you read up on this so I don't have to get so graphic?
And women get UTIs even when our lovers are overseas...(and we didnt' cheat) so clearly, we get them from other things. The nurse probably thought your w would interpret the info like I would have, which means my h and I would take precautions and you'd modify your "practice"...if that were the likely cause.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
...it's from certain practices done while ML, which you need to alter. Learn those....
25, Please enlighten all the rest of us, on what we need to know.
What I have observed over years of marriage is only certain kinds of lubricants are allowed to go anywhere near her vagina (& saliva is not one of them) As for the lubricants, some women are sensitive and get vaginal infections (not the same as a UTI) or just irritation like an allergic reaction to the ingredients in some of the lubricants. K-Y jelly or baby oil seem to affect the fewest women negatively. But as for the rest, most of that is not about UTIs...at least not in our sex life. My h is an MD, and saliva isn't a banned material in our sex life. (I can't believe I'm writing this, IT BETTER HELP SOMEONE).
and that my wife feels it is important to go to the bathroom (pee) before and right after ML no matter how much I want to hold her and she will never take a bath (showers only) or go in a hot tube no matter what. Gee. Peeing before and after can also be b/c of other issues, like how in menopause women can have weakened bladder walls/vaginal walls which are next to eachother. That means sex can make her feel the urge to pee. But I assume you mean it's not related to how she physically feels but is some hygiene habit?
Well, I take baths, we love the hot tub. I just think we're from a different generation there. Not by a lot, but by enough. What am I missing?
I think you're missing hot tub sex, which is lovely, hot tubs easing back pain. I had back surgery 10 years ago and still have bad pain. The hot tub and even just our jacuzzi tub are both SO HELPFUL...(my pain specialist once said, "never underestimate the healing power of water".) I don't know if I could be healthy without taking hot baths/hot tub therapy.
I think you know the things you are missing sexually, and maybe it's no biggie to you. That's fine. But she is also missing something many women find very enjoyable.
YAH, Some of her habits are things I heard in school when I was quite young but were modified by the time I was in high school. So I got the newer info and of course I took classes in college on sexuality (who didn't?)
A lot of theories about why women get these infections were misplaced. However I don't want to give out medical advice here. If she's curious she should ask her doctor. I did, and I'm married to one too. (Yes we talk about that too. It helps to feel "safe" in experiments).
But I cannot believe she wont' go in a hot tub or bath. Does she swim in a pool? The ocean? A lake? That would probably be worse-in fact we did get horrible ear infections when I was a kid from swimming in a lake that we LATER noticed had a sign (a very small sign, I might add) that swimming had been recently banned until some clean up...gross. But that was pretty rare and we missed the warning sign, literally.
Does this help? I HOPE SO.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
...I think you're missing hot tub sex, which is lovely, hot tubs easing back pain.
...The hot tub and even just our jacuzzi tub are both SO HELPFUL...
....But I cannot believe she wont' go in a hot tub or bath. Does she swim in a pool? The ocean? A lake?
We have a jacuzzi bathtub that I use for therapy at times. If my wife needs heat for sore muscles, it is either a long warm shower or a hot pad.
But, she doesn't go swimming, use hot tubs, etc.
Yes, I would enjoy hot tub sex with my wife, but it isn't going to happen in my life. There are enough good things in this marriage that this is not a deal killer.
Thanks for your comments.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
Wrapping up one of the most amazing weekends in my M.
We took a 5 day vacation and visited a convention. We used to average a MAJOR fight per 2.5 days of vacation. So to be starting day 5 in such great shape feels soo good.
Hopefully this will redefine for her what the good times are.
oh... as good as that sounds... be watchful for the rebound... hope you're in good enough DB shape to minimize it as much as possible...
Funny you say that... We just got home and she got awkward again. I'll post more details on the weekend tomorrow morning, let's just say that despite us booking separate beds she slept with me all weekend and we cuddled in bed all night. We get home and she goes straight for the couch. I told her she was more than welcome to sleep in our bed, she claimed she enjoyed not having to share a bed. Sigh...
Just last night she fell asleep with her head on my chest. It all seems like a dream now....
My mantra was "its a marathon and not a sprint,.....this will take time.....I can't change my wife, only she can choose to changer herself....I can support her changes when they occur."
Good luck, seems like you have through GAL, MWD, Chapman and things you have done made a huge difference and gotten you wife to change a lot of things. Still not perfect, but focus on your glass being half full.
Good luck
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
Young at heart As usual thanks for the words of encouragement.
As for the weekend, it was almost perfect on Thursday we took off to another major city, where we went to a 4 day convention. We had a lot of fun and stayed in a very nice hotel. Originally we had planned to spend the whole weekend drinking and having fun. I was even going to encourage us to keep Exploring together.
Instead none of that happened. Since she was sick she didn't want a drop of alcohol. Instead we spent a very hectic yet nice and relaxing 5 days together. While at the convention it seemed like very little could go wrong, and the few times it did thanks to some good DB and NMMNG, the arguments never turned into fights. We usually have a major meltdown or two, but we had none. Instead she was super considerate, and would take every opportunity to hug me, or show me some other form of physical affection.
Below are some highlights:
1. We got a room with two beds, yet she chose to sleep with me. By night three she was falling sleep on my chest.
2. We hardly argued over schedules, her main goal was to make most of the time there. I agreed
3. Got to take lots of pictures of people in awesome costumes. In the past I have avoided taking pictures of females in anything not rated G. This time I took pictures of PG-13 and a little above. (still avoided taking pics of girls in super slutty costumes). She could tell i was more comfortable with my camera, especially at asking for poses, and making my subjects feel at ease by making them laugh. I could sense a little jealousy.
4. While on the elevator by myself I got hit on by two girls. I casually let her know about the "two creepy girls in the elevator". I can tell she was not amused, although she tried to play it off.
5. We met with some acquaintances of hers. Not to brag, but I know that she knew that I was the best looking, and most successful there. That and all her friends are so envious of where we are going next.
6. I had fun. Enough said.
Overall this was the way it should have always been.... Alas it all seems like a dream now. She went to sleep on the couch as soon as we got back, and while this morning she was still more affectionate than before we left, I still want the woman I had just yesterday in my arms.
