I will do my best. I come here to vent and to post the things I see happening in my Sitch. and to get suggestions.I am trying to define the ways that I am using the DBing techniques even though sometimes I slip (which I'm sure is normal).
I can tell already since using the last-resort-technique that he is way more curious about me and my thoughts and my where abouts. I re-read the last-LRT section in MWD's book last night and it confirmed to me what you are all saying here. If I want the cycle to stop, I need to JUST DO IT! She explains that it is not for the faint of heart (which unfortanitely is me). But I realize how much I have tolerated that I shouldnt have, and how many ways he was not being a good H to me. So I will stick with it, and do what I can to not be friendly, not return calls, not check up on him, and to get myself out there in this world (GALing).
H text me twice yesterday and I didnt respond. He said he is leasing a two family home across the street from one of my best friend's house and that his cousin and her family are going to rent the upstairs from him, and a garage is included. Then later he text around 11ish and said "I hope your doing ok". I didnt respond to either text and I find it funny that this time around he is offering information to me that I didnt even ask about and that I showed no concern about the day before when he mentioned it.
The last few times he left in '07 &'08, I was begging him to tell me where he was staying and he would say it was none of my business. Myself and his family didnt find him until 3 weeks later back then. We were all concerned at that time because he was making suicidal comments. So this is a 180 for me to not pursue him.
I felt like I did a good job not inquiring! Now I need to focus on not enabeling him.
I have also noticed that since I have stop responding to nonsence texts it seems he is no longer pushing me about a D, rather he is pushing for my freindship (and I still dont answer those texts either). I also noticed that this past sat. when we ran into each other he was Sober, (even his best freind commented that it was the frist time in a LOOOONNNGGG time that he had seen him sober).
Well, I am off to a BBQ with a guy freind of mine from H.S. days, I hope to have fun. Then later, I have alanon. Have a great memorial day, all!!! TIPPER
