18 Wheels and a Dozen Roses

[AJM80]

So..other random moments that may matter later, before I get to the punchline.

1) I told him in the car that sometimes D makes me nuts. He asked if it was because she talks so much. I said I was ok with that part (he struggles with it), but when she just constantly was all over my physically sometimes it was too much. I think it really helped both of us to admit this - he felt guilt that he had bad thoughts sometimes and struggles with feeling like he's not a good enough dad. He looked very surprised. I struggle with having to be "perfect mom", the role he tries to put me in. It felt good to admit to and it helped me appreciate her more when we got home and she climbed into my lap.

2) I told him at a different time that I felt that this situation made me less effective as a mom, since I was more irritable and stressed and didn't get the same support and breaks. Not accusingly, just as a point of fact and something that I'm adjusting to.

3) We worked together on the air conditioner and I didn't try to tell him what to do. He was confident and took charge, but also considerate to ensure I had a hold of things before he let go, asked if I wanted it centered, etc. It was just good teamwork, on both sides.

4) He turned the tv to a show I mentioned that I like while I was up putting D to bed.

5) He stayed a good 8 hours? Granted, he was doing his laundry when we got back. I just realized - he brought his laundry upstairs, rather than put on music/folding it in basement

6) Drumroll, pls...
Last night after I realized that regardless of where things go, I was happy/thankful for the right now/that day, I texted H (all while considering it might be a bad idea). I said, I really enjoyed today. Even when you were hungry and starting to get irritable, you were kind and thoughtful and stayed patient with everyone. Not intended as a backhanded compliment/no criticism

I went to sleep 20 min later, wondering if I shouldn't have said anything.

He wrote back a really long text in the early am, saying he understood and really appreciated my positive feedback, since he's been trying to work on that. He brought up a moment in our day when the old him would have gotten impatient and said he made the decision to let D and I enjoy the moment we were having looking at our bug. Before you get too excited, he said he realized how important the journey/exploring/taking her time is to her development.

Only possible weirdness - I picked up a pair of I heart Dad boxers in the checkout at the outlet mall for the kids to give him for father's day. D pulled it out, I explained it to her, so she decided it needed to be given to him asap. I feel a little odd, since funny underwear is a gift I used to give often. I said something to acknowledge that it was a little weird to give him underwear, but that I thought they were a cute feel good item from the kids.

I mentioned a parade today and D got so excited. I know he'll be thinking about the good time we are having.