18 Wheels and a Dozen Roses

[AJM80]

OK, getting some thoughts out today. Happy Memorial Day and a huge thank you to all those who serve or have served our country. Bless you and may the future repay you in many ways.

I had an epiphany yesterday. I'm in a situation with my H that many people on here would love to have, still spending time together, having positive moments (even if he is still dating stripper and not openlytrying to reconcile). I just need to figure out if it's a good thing/where it is headed.

Yesterday he texted 2 hours before he was going to show up, which is a no no. So just a gentle reminder to give me a time the day before. As I said, luckily, son woke up early and I was up. I rushed around, cleaned house, fed son, and put on a dress/makeup.

We had no required activities for the day, so H asked what I wanted to accomplish. (I hemmed and hawed around here - I should have been more definite/not so indecisive, since it used to make him nuts) Finally, not knowing what he was trying to find out from me, I said I had considered taking them to a state park if he was not around. He said it sounded good. I also mentioned I had a coupon/giftcard for an outlet mall near the park. Finally, I said I wanted to get the other ac units installed with his help.

We hit the mall, then the park. Shopping and a little scenic hike. H was patient and didn't b---- at me to hurry when I was darting around getting the kids stuff together. He also didn't get mad when I realized I left my giftcard on the counter and had to run back in from the drive to get it. AND when I told him I needed to stop and return a movie at the grocery store....no problem....So, that was nice. Compared to this time last summer, he's a different person. Adele, Rolling in the Deep, came on and I teased him that he wasn't supposed to love the song and explained what it meant. We laughed. There were a few moments when I felt really irritated at him, but a good amount of shared, fun time. Since I know he is w/ OW, I find him less appealing and have definitely mentally pushed him away.

We didn't take much in the way of snacks, so H and D were really starting to get irritable. We went to a look out point and it was really nice. When she and I stopped to look at a bug together toward the end of the trip, H stood with son and waited patiently.

We headed home and he ran to get food as soon as we pulled in. It was perfect, because he knew he was starving, got consensus on the drive, and I took the kids in and got them cleaned up.