One less wife Bringing up the past is just another way of fighting dirty. Just stop the fight, ask her to calmly explain how the past event has bearing. If she won't or she can't, then tell her that repeating the past will not bring future solutions to present problems.
If she brings up past events she is most likely either feeling vulnerable, and wants to regain the upper hand, or in her mind the two events are linked. If she can't express how the two events are linked. Then tell her you are interested in working WITH her to find a solution to present problems.
IMHO once she starts bringing up the past she is too angry to be able to find a good compromise solution with you. So just table the argument to prevent the fight. Now if your wife is one of those that complains that you never listen go ahead and let her vent, and validate where appropriate. Don't let her unfairly blame you, once she does calmly step away. it's a tough balance and every sitch is different, just remember that whatever you do always do it with love.
