Starksy I did go back and reread my old posts and the advice I was given....I was week and thought [b]hey if I give in and giver her money and be nice...things might work out....[/b] So, not a gift so much as a trade with expectations...LOSE THOSE ASAP
.but that was not the case....Its ironic...my roommate was going through a similar situation with her boyfriend and another woman...I told her about this site and what advice is given....She followed what I told her to a tee and they are back together now stronger than ever it seems....She is constantly telling me to listen to these people on this board.... Ironic? Maybe a little, but also just sort of hypocritical.
I try and try but always put my foot in my mouth....
DEFINE "TRY AND TRY"....what is it to you, to "TRY & TRY"... something?
Things are starting to look better for me as each day does in fact get easier to get through....I guess I am in the process of detaching and finding myself all at the same time....So know I will be journaling and keeping everyone up to date....
So I can get the advice sooner than later....Funny thing is I lurk and read on here just about 24 hours a day You say the word "advice?" and "Thoughts?" a lot. We give them to you. You don't follow them. Then you come here and refer to something you call "trying" and then you come back here, and say you failed, again...
....I see the baby steps some sitches have and the pain others do.....Everyone of us who is the LBS.....has the same range of emotions...trouble with me is I think my head must be made out of a substance that nothing can get through to.... You are not maritally disabled. The trouble is you don't follow through. You don't want it enough or you are just too stuck/stubborn selfish to change and you'd rather "read the DB boards 24/7" than implement the changes in real life.
That's another way of saying you don't want it enough, or you are just really lazy but I have a hard time saying "lazy" to a guy who worked at his job so hard. SO I go back to , you don't want it enough. Unless emotionally you are lazy, and that would just be a tragedy for all of your women.
They won't have a role model of a man who puts real effort into his family life.
its almost as tough as the wall my WAW has put up
Time + Your Changes = Her believing they are real changes.
....But I promise that I will listen very carefully to this advice from now on...So one way or another Scott will be ok......keep it coming folks
You make a lot of promises. This is not about you promising US...we are not in your family and we lose nothing but time, when you backslide repeatedly.
This is your life and family. You are losing them and you are playing hapless/clueless victim...
But we know better.
Down deep you think "why bother? It's easier to start fresh w/someone new I won't have to come from behind to compensate..etc."
That has surface appeal but it's flawed. Why? B/c first off-your R problems absolutely will repeat so you'll be in the same boat with a OW.
Second, you'll lose more than your present w. You'll lose 5 women, the daughters you say you love. The ones you'd probably kill or die for, and yet....
and yet you won't change even when the changes are spelled out for you...
Do it. And if you won't then at least don't keep saying you will "this time" or keep saying "advice?" b/c you get advice! Some darn good advice... This is not easy but it is also NOT complicated. Quite simple, really. Don't make it so hard.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
