Tipper, I do not believe that saying the same thing over again to you is going to work, neither am I going to offer you a 2 x 4. BUT do you seriously believe that standing up for yourself and asking for reasonable behaviour from this man is being a b*tch? Because if you do my friend you have a lot to learn. I do not see myself as a b*tch, but I have had to be heart breakingly tough with myself and my xh to survive.
If you really want to "help" him and help yourself, stop enabling him and stop telling yourself it is OK to do this, that you are being a 'nice' person. If you don't see this as enabling please discuss it with others at Alanon
This is about you, and learning to stand alone. I agree with the other posters - do you think we are all wrong and that none of us understand?? Sweetie we have all been in your shoes - not necessarily with an alcoholic, but with abusive and destructive behaviour from the person who, prior to this we expected, quite reasonably, to spend the rest of our lives with.
