Thanks all, I agree with most your comments. But, Please understand that I am going dark, not completely black (as some refer to it).
I am only texting him to set up BOUNDARIES!!! I dont sleep much at night so I was actually awake this time he text at 2am. So I text him a BOUNDARY LINE right back at him! I do not respond to the other texts about freindship, divorce, and blah blah blah.
I still need to have certain contacts with him since he left a month ago and he still has left behind ALL HIS PERSONAL BELONINGS (including office, closet, garage, etc)....Its only reasonable to let him get these things at times that are convienent to both of us, RIGHT????
I went to a gathering tonight with all our old group of friends, we call it MAYFEST. It was great. However, So many people there told me that my H was telling the world that I kicked him out. What crap!!! Oh well, I am sure they all know better.
So, before I left, he came to the house to get his drums (as earlier requested). He and I crossed paths on the back patio while I was letting the dog out for a potty break. This was the first time we have seen/talked to each other in about a month.
He said Hi and asked how I was doing and I said fine. He asked if I had some time to chat. I said, not really becuase our friends were picking me up to go out in 5-10 minutes. He asked where I was going with them (his old best friend & his wife), I said- MayFEST. He said to be careful and that he would probably not be going-( I was relieved).
He was petting the dog, and the dog was putting her tail between her legs, and trying to get out of the fence. He kept saying her name "SNOOP, Whats the matter". The dog is afraid of him a bit, (It's so obvious to me and it is so sad).
Anyways, he said he is moving into a house tommorow. I didnt say anything. He still tried to get the dogs attention for another moment while we were both silent.
I feel I am doing what I need to to change old behavior patterns: *I set a boundary (about texting late nights). *I am NOT responding to his unimportant texts or any texts about our M (when last times he left me, I did - over and over) *I agree with 'seeking answers' advice about not allowing him to continue to see the dog, So I will let him say good bye to her but that will be the last time! *I was/will be cordial, not so much friendly like in the past times. Am I missing something here. I feel I am making changes and seeking advise along the way. I am just not the type of person to be a straight up be-otch (if you know what I mean). But I do know that I am trying to stand my ground more and more.
I am in a tough position becuase I am still waiting for him to move his stuff out, and I am still waiting on his much talked about paper work, and I am still waiting to sit and chat with him till I feel the time is right and that I have healed more.
Once these things are done, I do believe the rest of my path will be easier for me. However, I cant control those things to go any faster than time allows. TIPPER
