I have the girls for the weekend. We needed to get something from STBXW. I told D12 to text STBXW and inform we were coming because I didn't want any surprises like last summer.
One day last summer we needed to get swimsuits for the girls on a Saturday. I thought STBXW would be at work and we could just run in and out. No dice. Motorcycle guy -- either an OP or, she says, just a friend -- was parked in my driveway and helping her mow the yard.
The girls saw him and got really mad.
That was a painful day.
Anyway, as D12 was texting I went downstairs to get something and I started asking myself some questions.
Why am I so worried about seeing STBXW with another man?
Because I am afraid she will find happiness with someone else.
Why am I afraid of that?
Because it would mean to me that I was the reason she was unhappy.
Why is that important?
Because I fear that I am unlovable and I won't find anyone else.
I didn't feel angry anymore.
Once that crisis passed I got on with the day. I took the girls to a children's museum then to the ballpark because I had a couple of softball games to play. Then I signed the girls back up for the health club for the summer and D12 worked out while D8 and I headed for a playground.
I seriously tired both of them out. We are all vegging in the living room.
We did finally get over to STBXW's house to pick up some stuff. I didn't feel as anxious when I saw her.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
