Depression from dating

[d1adsl5a]

Sounds like a good time GG. That was the thing i didn't know at the time that i was that emotionally broken guy. I don't think I was emotionally unavailable. I just wasn't in love with her like I wanted to be. But Broken Yes. I was told the downfall of the marriage was all my fault time and time again. In my head I kept telling myself that isn't true. But you get told that over and over again, you get told that your w was in love with om for the 15 years of our marriage, maybe that does something to you. This girl told me she was head over heals in love. I could do no wrong. She did everything for me. I felt suffocated..I can't describe the feeling any different. I felt trapped. I had to end every conversation on the phone. She would say thank you for calling me. Thank you coming over. I needed to be challenged. She was everything i thought I wanted before I knew what I wanted. I just needed more of an equal to me. I was starting to try and mold her into the person I wanted her to be and I knew it wasn't right. It was 10 month intense relationship and in month 7, I started to pull back. I am just mourning the loss of what i wanted. i am trying to forgive myself for hurting another person. I never hurt someone before.

My W asked for the D. Not me. But I knew there were times during our marriage I felt nothing for my W. She was verbally abusive and would always go for the juggular. I knew this before I married her. I knew there were some issues but in my head it was too late to turn back. With this girl I was dating, she saw there were no issues with us.

hen I started to judge the girlfriend things or pick things apart about her in my head, I knew it wasn't right. I got dissapointed in myself that I was doing this to such a nice girl. I am not an elitist, jerk. I just didn't want to make the same mistake again. I so wanted to be in love and have my happy ending. But to your point GG, you have to happy for yourself first before someone else can make you happy. It was too soon. I didn't know it was too soon. I didn't know I was emotionally broken. I didn't know how to be alone yet. I hadn't been without a girlfriend or wife since I was 15. So it is hard being alone. My w said I was controlling. Ok, I admit it, I like a beginning and an end. I like having a plan. Well, that is life now, not knowing the future. Being able to let go... It is ok to make a mistake. I made a mistake in dating too early. I learned a life lesson about myself. I just need to forgive myself. I need to be more at peace with myself. Love will come when I am ready for it. I just want to be whole again. A woman can't do that for me. I need to do it for myself first...It is easy telling myself what I should do. I just need to believe it in my heart which is a little harder...