Newly divorced and lost

[ImprovedRomeo]

Hi Kassie, I think a lot of what you're experiencing is pretty normal unfortunately. The abrupt end to a married life is painful and you have gaps all over the place. I do ok for the most part but the bumps in life and new bombs from her like her sleeping with other people still gets me down. Or even just being out and doing fun stuff with DD I feel that gaping hole and what STBX meant to me. At times I feel as if I'm missing a limb. And it comes and goes in waves even years after D. Most people 'move on' in about 3yrs if you really want a number but according to the book From Abandonment to Healing http://www.amazon.com/Journey-Abandonment-Healing-Relationship-Beginning/dp/0425172287 there's no set timeline. From my personal experience what I've seen is that most people are generally happy once they are in new a relationship. I can see that because it's not so much that I miss STBX it's what she represented.

Not having a companion in life is lonely...but certainly very doable. If you are feeling depressed from the lonliness though see if you can talk to a counselor. What has helped me? Having hobbies, having the radio on while folding the laundry etc, buying something new that I'll enjoy like a new patio set with a firepit to have dinner outside with DD (or with the birds when DD's not with me lol), a small manageable house project, meeting up with a friend for lunch/dinner, watching a movie, reading inspirational quotes, grilling some food, bicycling, working out, retail therapy, exchanging dirty pics with the DB ladies (just kidding!) and humor. Adopting a pet has been suggested as something helpful too, though it's a big committment. Meetup.com is also a good way to get out of the house and socialize. Hope some of this helps.