18 Wheels and a Dozen Roses

[AJM80]

This is mostly a vent. My H is such a jack a$$. He's just so, so self centered. Came over, took D to the playground around 3, when he got in. She lasted about 45 min there. We went outside when they got home so she could cool off in the hose and wash off the sunblock. He wanted to go outside too, but then kept letting son eat handfuls of mulch and complaining about being damp/grassy/mulchy from the kids play.

We came in and he started laundry - it seems like that's 90 percent of why he comes. He changes into random "play clothes" that are in one of the closets and washes what he wore that day (or his gym clothes or a suitcase full of laundry). D went to bed. I ran the vac and tripped a fuse (AC is on today, unexpected overload). So with 3 feet left to sweep, I had to run down to the basement and flip the switch. I flipped my laundry while I was down there. The vac came back on and he played with son 3 feet from an unattended running vac for 5-10 min. Didn't finish the floor, didn't shut it off...it was just weird. And I told him that, without any attitude.

Me - Look, I know you've said it always bothered you that I would just get angry and hold it in. I'm not really angry about this,

Him - (he interrupted me and was being critical) Why are you talking out of the side of your mouth?

Me - Why do you criticize me and put me down like that? You used to tell me I smelled, etc (I had some weird hormone thing while pregnant and smelled a little weird sometimes up close - I couldn't help it) It's just not nice.

Him - sheepish look, like he didn't realize it was hurtful, but as soon as I said it his expression looked like he realized it was freaking true!!!

Me - (finishing initial thought) - it's more just weird, but it is the kind of thing that drives women nuts. Did you notice the vac was on? I wondered why you didn't shut it off, or even better, finish that little patch.

Him - oh, I was playing with son and didn't even think about it.

(so, I'm not lying about not being angry - it was just weird. The vac is pretty loud. I'm glad he was playing with son.)

I ran out to do an errand (without telling him first - I bolted while they were in the basement), he played with son and did laundry.

I came home shortly after, he folded his laundry and left. He was here maybe 2.5 hours? He spent 1.5+ roundtrip getting here and daughter was asleep half the time he was here, son asleep the other half. He changed clothes like 3 times and did laundry in that time. I just don't get it. She's going to be so sad when she wakes up and he's not here to play with her.

Ok, vent over.

I was honest and kind, but critical - maybe not the right way to go...The vacuum thing was weird, I had to ask. And I am irritated today, by the heat and stress and lack of sleep. I stayed pretty even, but am sure it showed a little.

He's clearly still wigging out about our conversation the other night and wanted to avoid any follow up convo, in my opinion. Hahaha - I'd think Fleet Week would be a busy time for his gf, but maybe she has the night off and he wanted to see her.

Just weird today.