Alternate DB universe?

[Truegritter]

Sorry Scylla but my last post was #2112 and the title of a Rush album by coincidence which I could not let go unoticed and seeing that you're from Canada...

Coincidence?

I think not.

[Queen_of_Swords]

What would be your feeling and outlook if you had left him before he left you?

It seems you had reason to. Yes

Not quite, this all happened as a result of his leaving. The lying by omission was him telling me what I wanted to hear as an attempt to keep the peace and not rock the boat.
I'm not a runner True, I'm a fighter so your query is moot.

Sorry Scylla but my last post was #2112 and the title of a Rush album by coincidence which I could not let go unoticed and seeing that you're from Canada...

Coincidence?

I think not.

Don't know what you're sorry about?
Yeah we Canucks are a different breed.

[Truegritter]

I'm not a runner True, I'm a fighter so your query is moot.

Didn't call you a runner.

Rather, expected your answer.

I know (at least by what you post) that you are a tough as nails type of gal.

Then it was your choice. Yes? You knew all the sh!t(maybe not all) and you stood?

So you are not a victim?

?

BTW Rush is a Canadian band. And a GREAT one at that.

This is just my monthly flyby Scylla....

[Queen_of_Swords]

Then it was your choice. Yes? You knew all the sh!t(maybe not all) and you stood?

So you are not a victim?

You asked a hypothetical question. I gave you a truthful answer based upon that scenario. I would have stuck it out and worked at things because I am a fighter and I believe most problems have win/win solutions, and I love my husband in spite of his lousy behaviour.

Yes I know Rush is a Canadian Band LOL. Bring on the New World Man.
Ever heard of Can con rules? Gov't has rules in place to insure a percentage of radio content played are Canadian artists. Just a little factoid for you 'Murricans.

[Queen_of_Swords]

Hi Kalni!
Forest hasn't been around in a couple weeks. His thread is here but slid off the radar for the moment.
Thanks for the information on this FB group. I'll have a look around.

You said :

from my experience these type of discussions shift the focus from "saving the M" to "stating what kind of M/life/R you want

Yes this is true, a gradual shift in focus for certain. Perhaps it's enough, perhaps not.

Either way, because I am who I am, I go after what it is I need and want. It's one of my better qualities .

I thank you very much for the affirmation Kalni. It means a lot to have that coach and cheering section in the corner sometimes.

[Queen_of_Swords]

What would be your feeling and outlook if you had left him before he left you?

It seems you had reason to. Yes?

I've given it some thought TrueGritter.

My feeling and outlook if I had left him, would be very much the same as I often feel when I think about our R and about H in particular. In sum a total devaluation of me as a person.

That he didn't/doesn't really care about me. That my wants and needs are irrelevant,an irritant and an extra burden. That our marriage is a convienence, and I an extra pair of hands and sex doll.

I can say I would have probably felt completely justified in leaving and would have treated him as if he was dead or invisible to me, knowing what I know now, about how I would have once behaved in protecting myself in the not too distant past.