I intend to live forever - so far, so good

[ClingingToHope]

Got up and worked out this morning, and I'm looking good. Took a nap, then a shower and went to pick up D8 for Donuts for Dads day.

It hit me in the car -- exactly two weeks from today and the divorce is final.

It's weird, weird, weird and normal at the same time. This has been my life for more than two years now.

I go from happy to sad in seconds. There are lots of time I am eager to know how it feels to actually be single again. But then STBXW will be single as well and I'll find out of motorcycle guy from small town was an OP or just a friend.

Either way -- she'll have no legal ties to me. That's hard.

But then I'll be able to move on without worrying as much about what is appropriate. I hope that helps.

Time already has dulled much of the ache and anxiety. I was lying in bed this morning wondering where I'd be living in 10 years when D8 is getting ready for college.

I remember thinking I'd always be hurting, but some day the M will be a very distant thing. When I was a small child, age 5, I spilled a percolating pot of coffee on my foot -- long story.

I very nearly lost my foot. I had severe third degree burns and growing up when I went swimming I'd always show off my scars.

Today, I can't even tell which foot I burned. I think it was my left foot. There are no more marks.

My IC told me about a year ago that she was married 25 years and now when she sees her ex, it's like seeing an old boyfriend.

I could not imagine that every being the case with STBXW. Today, right now, I'm nowhere near that, but I can see myself eventually getting there.