I am so sorry that I have put you through this. I understand that I disgust you and make you sick. Your right at the time I was only thinking of myself. That was wrong….I know my Mom wont say anything to you she only says to me. Carrie, I am not trying to push you…my anxiety level is so high right now I shake all the time. The stress is high and so is the tension. I am trying to give you space but I feel awkward like I am in your way all the time. A month is not that long to deal with something of this depth, that is why I was talking about counseling so we or you could get a objective point of view to air things out and figure this out. I will sleep on the couch from now on if it is easier. I don’t think you are teaching the kids anything about this because they know nothing about this. I don’t want our kids to learn those things either, but I do want them to learn forgiveness and (not forget) learning to get past hardship and disappointment. Two things neither one of us is very good at. I don’t want you to feel as if you are sacrificing your morals or being for this relationship. But I know that we can find a way to work this out and get stronger. But unless we take the first step (i.e. counseling) it will never be unstuck. It is no secret that I don’t want a divorce and pray everyday for a way to fix this or find a new start for us. I just need to hear your voice . Sitting in a house with you so quiet is so very difficult for both of us, but I understand that your not feeling very chit chatty this days. I wish I could turn back time and make this all better but I cant. I broke us but I know that it can be fixed. We just need a lot of support to do it. Please Carrie don’t give up on us.
