1. I agree on the breather from talking. I looks like June will be a better chance for that. My W has conference and I'm going home to visit the family.
2. My 180s - The ones I've done very well with Be more supporting about my W's career Eliminate the joking yet hurtful comments. Stop blaming my W for anything that went wrong Don't cause issues/fights in the morning Do less stuff around the house - this may seem odd, but I was doing the lions share of the housework and kid duties. I thought I was doing it to help. My W said it just made her fell guilty.
The ones' I'm less successful with -
Not reacting to lack of affection. Appreciate any affection including ML Appreciate the quite along time with my W snooping Bringing up OM negative thoughts about W taking focus off her
My GALS- my main activity is that I'm a pretty serious runner. I still do that, but not much else.
3. My wife has told me what you said about changing her mind. I remember we had a talk once and I brought up something she said in a fight. She admonished my and said "we were fighting."
4. I agree about looking at her with microscope and looking to her for validation.
5. We are not in MC now. he was very helpful, but in a limited area. I'm going to see him next week alone. Our MC doesn't do the rehash old grievances.
6. I know the MLC thing did rock her world. I mad so many threats of divorce. she didn't know what to do/. at first she was super accommodating then it went to not caring.
7. The OM - sh had known the guy for about 10 years. Honestly she sees him as mentor, but he's not really that good of a mentor. But I do think she looked to me for some of the things he was able to fulfill during the EA.
Funny you should mention that because I know the dynamic of their R recently change. He was coming of whiney about something and she said to him. "You like someone who has poison ivy complain to a burn victim." She also todl him that she didn't need his support.
I know the EA isn't what it once was. She took drastic steps to reduce contact.
8. Finally, your suggestion. It's a good one and I've vowed to do that before and it didn't take. Why? i didn't have the tools that I know do now.
June would be good for that because My W has conference for 4 days in early just. and I'm going to colorado for 7 days in late June.
My W has not gotten more than a few days peace. She needs it...I need it.
I love the idea that "This is what forgiveness looks like" it brings me to tears.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
