Words get in the way

[angel61]

I too am a believer, and I am working at turning over my sitch to God. I pray all the time.

Long story short, my H had an EA with another MD who worked part time for him supporting his research in a country far from here. He recommended her to do a post-doc where we had finished ours, and she got accepted. This was a year ago.

He dropped the bomb end of June 2010. I bargained, thought everything was my fault (for good reason), he said OK, we will wait till our DHe did not admit to the EA though until September. OW came to the USA in September too. I was a wreck, they now were communicating openly. By October I had found DR book and site.

By November, H ended EA. Went trhough horrible depression, wanted to reconnect with OW, thats when I said NO, choose OW or divorce. H steps back, but secretly contacts OW and they start communicating again. Worst times of our sitch.

February, I said I was going to give up, let go, and plan for us to go separate ways, but gradually. I asked him to support me, my plan was to quit my job, review for the boards, do a residency and practice. He said OK, after which we go our separate ways. But I started having anxiety attacks.

D also became anxious (she has a hx of eatig disorder and sep. anxiety). She then confessed to cutting herself in march. Therapist tells us that we better put our own feelings on hold for a while and concentrate on D. At that point H made an about turn. My intuition told me he had decided to stay.

We went on vacation, had a wonderful time. I was quickly learning to detach, forgive, etc.

We come back, wonderful mothers day, H tells me he thinks he could accept our situation enough to stay in the M forever.

I kept quiet, thinking to myself that at least acceptance is a start, but I have to work on getting him to work on the M.

I do have a lot of threads, some in newcomers, some in MLC.

I don't know how to link but just look them up under my name. I really appreciate having you, one of the pillars and one of the wisest vets in the BB, advising me.

Thank you soooo much. I hope one day to have the wisdom you have.

Cyrena too.... please keep on advising me. I feel like your sitch and mine are linked.... so alike in what I have heard from you so far.

I hope my outcome is as good as both of yours are.