Depression from dating

[d1adsl5a]

OK--Here is an area where I can offer a little advice..

Been going through the divorce process for about 2 years now. W moved out last May. Run to eharmony...Date number 2, I find the girl of my dreams or so I thought..World Wind Romance. Within 4 months we are talking about her and her 4 kids moving in with me and my sons. Month 7: my insomnia comes back. Why: I just agreed to a timeline as to when we were going to move in together. Over time, I do some soul searching..I figure out that:

-I ran to eharmony to make me feel attractive, wanted and whole again.
-I wanted to find my next wife
-I didn't want to be alone
-I was almost willing my self to be in love with her. But in the end I wasn't really after 8 months. I question how much I was in love with my W when we got married when I was 25..You just think, yea there are some issues, but those will work it out over time--Wrong. i was repeating the same behavior as I did 15 years ago with my wife. I just wasn't strong enough to end it if I wasn't 100%.
-I had to break it off, because it wasn't fair to her and her kids. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life because I have never hurt someone like this in breaking up with them. She was everything I thought I wanted, but i was wrong..
-I am a fan of eharmony and will go back someday. But you have to be ready. You have to be whole on your own and not try to get that feeling from someone else. You need to be able to live alone first.
-I have learned some life lessons over the last few years. Life can be so hard sometimes.

-You will find someone. What is wrong with dating at 50? If you are not attracted to someone or you think--"no" right off the bat, then don't respond. The last thing you want to do is lead someone on.

I hurt someone dearly that thought i could ever do. Just make sure you are ready..