I haven't seen anyone get back together after a separation UNLESS it's understood that the separation is an attempt to heal the marriage. If not, it becomes too easy to become comfortable and all you're doing is avoiding the issues. The separation becomes a way of running away from the problem.
"the only time she felt positive was during our talk about the separation because it felt like we were working together on moving forward."
Total BS talk. She could have also just as easily have felt you were working together at moving forward with the marriage also. She should have understood your insecurities about the OM and not have gotten upset. Likewise, if you were feeling insecure, you should have just told her your concerns and not just checked her log.
If both of you are separating just for the sake of doing it, it won't work.
Bond, Thanks for the input.
The point of the potential separation is to heal the marriage. It's not to just avoid issues. We have talked about this. I told her that we need to have MC during the separation and she agreed. I've been reading up on it and I know what ways it works and what ways it doesn't
I agree on the BS part. I told her that we "got lazy" over the last month and she saw that as some kind of attack on her efforts. I would like to see us try a few more things before separation, but she thinks we have tried everything.
I wish I knew someone here or in IRL who went through a successful "healing separation" that could help me gain insight. I am talking to our MC about this next week.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
