Well, we are back to the warm and fuzzy today. Got a very nice email from her this morning all friendly and full of well wishes. Not sure what triggered that. My prior emails to her this week followed her cryptic format. I responded today in a nicer way. I will take my lead from her, if she is friendly, then I will be friendly. I maybe wrong here, but I don't think that she should be able to expect anything beyond what she is giving from her side.
We had a discussion the other night about the vacation plans for the summer. I raised the issue again about needing to book my time off and needing to know what she was planning for the summer. She got very terse and said that it was based on finding out what time her sister who is coming to visit this summer is going to be spending time with our family. We know when she is coming but don't know who she is visiting and when. I remained calm and just stated that was fine, but I would like to know if she was going to take any other time off and do I need to take time off at the same time. She then said that we should probably book a vacation for us and the kids which I saw as a good thing. It was a painful process. I can't imagine trying to have a discussion with her around our relationship, I can't even have a conversation about vacation time.
In terms of moving forward, I have given myself a new deadline of this November. At that point it will be 2 years since the Bomb was initially dropped and almost 1 year since I confirmed and confronted her about the EA/PA. If at that time there is still no interest from her in starting a new relationship, then I am going to advise her that it is over. At that point I can hold my head high knowing that I made every effort to try and address her concerns and become a better person.
It is one thing to live the remainder of our lives as roommates, that I could live with. But at least with a roommate you would receive a good morning, a good night, how are you feeling or how was your day at work once in awhile. To be ignored or treated like you don't even exist is not something that I want to endure for the rest of my life. I have read on other threads where people have commented on how much more difficult it is to live with a WAW then to be separated. The advantage though is that they get to see your changes, although you pay a price for that on day to day basis.
I am going to spend the next 5 months detaching from her and focusing on myself and my kids. My work and emotional state have suffered too much over the past 18 months and to continue like this indefinitely would be detremental to my career and my health.
I went to see a psychic last week, the same one that my wife went to over a year ago. I don't believe in them but this guy had some pretty good insite into my wife's situation. He even identified that there was a "lone wolf" out there waiting to enter into my wife's love life. How true that was.
Anyway, alot of what he said wasn't relevant but he did spend considerable time talking about how over the past year or so I have been working hard to try and fix a problem that the other party has no interest in fixing. He went onto say that the other party would really like me to stop trying to fix this problem. He also stated that in order to save myself and my emotional stability that i needed to end all of this and move on. Not doing so would be the end of me emotionally. Not sure how much to read into this, but it was kind of interesting.
