MHL i was suicidal. still am at times. without any frame of reference to what is normal, i believe my childhood was abnormal. and it still affects me these years later.
you dont have to be perfect for your children, you just have to be there always. you can admit fear, pain, weakness to them, they'll appreciate they're not the only ones going through it.
one of the driving factors of suicidal tendencies, for me, was feeling alone. as if i were the weak one while everyone else was much stronger.
boys are taught to internalize, let your son know you know he has pain. i believe a boys pain becomes anger. give him space to vent, even its beating a tree with a bat.
but most importantly, from what i believe, is to be there for them. try to be as consistent as possible, apologize if you slip.
keep up the good work, as bad as this is, i think you're doing a great job with the situation you were given.
"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".
