Cindy, Thank you so much for your response. I see a common theme in your list, and it has to with your desparate need for some space and quiet time.
I recognized early (It may be because my W blatently told me so) that my W needed some space. I have been doing my best to honor that. I am pretty much following your list to a "T". I don't know if it will turn things around, but it's my game plan. Probably the biggest frustration right now for her with me is that I don't agree we should D. I'm not really stopping her, but I'm also not helping the process along really well, either. I'm sure she feels like I'm digging my heels in.
I too appreciated Cindy's post. I'm not sure if my reply will make it to the board, because I've posted my introduction to this board twice in the newcomers forum and neither time did my post appear. I'm about to give up and in the meantime my marriage continues to disintegrate.
I'm trying to do some of the things that Cindy mentioned motivated her to come back to the relationship but it's unbelievably hard. My husband is still living in this house because we don't yet want to tell the kids about what it going on. One of our children is headed to Europe for 2 months and she's already nervous enough, so we don't want to lay this on her. In the meantime, I've been living this limbo with a man who announced to me 2 months ago that he's not "loved" me for quite some time and is 'done.' He is "in love" with someone else--someone who has been a friend to him, who is 23 years younger than him, no kids, no obligations, etc etc.
Im glad you posted. It has given hope to some of the others. The thing about my sitch that makes my DBing efforts tough is the active relationship my W has with OM. Even introduced and is doing things with my youngest with him. I dont see this ending any time soon so I must concede that my efforts will fall short.
I am trying to GAL and doing the things that you have outlined including trying to be nicer to her when we converse but that is difficult for me with OM in pic.
Im happy to hear that you will be celebrating your 28th this year. congrats.
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BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
Hi notsosunny, thanks for sharing your story, esp how things turned around, I am sure that like I many will take heed I'd the information you have posted.
Stay well
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
