Detach Dog

[ninelives]

Update:

When I got home today there was a message from her again.

W: I am coming with my brother to pick up a few things , the hutch , the bed and the patio furniture. I am glad oldest son's lip has cleared up.

M: Okay , I was hoping to keep the patio furniture.

W: Get your own

which was immediately followed by a mildly irrate phone call.
And let me tell you , the entire phone call I kept picturing Sandi, 25, 2step, Denver, Islander, all the BITS as she her voice was up from the get go and she was throwing out Fbombs,

I told myself , I WILL NOT get sucked into an arguement no matter what.

W: So what the f, you want to keep the furniture, I paid for it with my money. (just an aside, I made at least 70% of the income and everything we bought was together I always thought)

M: Okay, you bought the furniture, I always believed we shared everything. It doesnt matter who did the purchasing. About the Hutch, where are you going to put it, your place has no room for it. If you are simply going to put it in your basement , why dont you let me keep it until you find somewhere for it.

( I was just a little annoyed that she basically told me her brother was coming in two days, and that I had to have all that stuff ready, I think technically since there was no mention of those things in the settlement, they now belong to me since they are in my posession, I could be wrong)

W: No effing way, its my hutch and its none of your business where I put it.

M: Whoa, please calm down. Why is it that when we talk, you are always upset. Im just asking you some questions that I would hope you would answer calmly. ITs been a trying day for me at school today and if we cant have a calm conversation, maybe we should hang up and try again when we can.

W: YOu are not the only one going through tough times. Im having alot of difficulty with things too. I dont have an effing pension thanks to you except for the settlement from the equity in the house and from my mom's estate.

YOu screwed me on that and you know it.

M: I really dont want to go through that again, we have done that ad naseum and we both will never change our minds on that. We signed and its done.

W: And the measly child support you give me, its not enough.
( I was tempted to say , YOU walked away but I didn't )

M: Im sorry things are tough for you right now, you did have a full time job when we settled. I didnt expect you to quit your other job.

W: WEll I could not do that job. I hated it. Dont worry about me.

M: Okay well, if I keep the furniture, maybe we can have an agreemnet.

W: HOw much will you give me for it. I want at least 300 bucks.


M: You got to be kidding. This stuff is 3 - 4 years old, Its not worth that much

W: I paid 700 for it when it was new.

M: WE paid for it , please remeber that. I dont want to argue about this. But if you want , lets haggle.

W: HuH?

M: Ill give you 200

W: No way , Im not budging from 300

( At this point , I was having a little fun)

M: There is a hole in two of the cushions and the mesh has holes.

W: It didnt when I was there, didnt you put it away correctly this year.

M: NOt as good as usual, I was distracted back in NOvember, things werent done as they used to be.

W: Okay, i get it, still you should have done a better job.

( I was so depressed, that was when I found out about the affair, just then, i was not on function mode at all, didnt go on about that)

M: Whatever, how about , 245

W: 275

M;250

W: 260 final offer

M: You can keep it then. ( i really thought we were having a bit of fun at this point)

W: What the eff. ITs all about money isnt it?

She then went on about the settlement again and how she got ripped off and how Ill sell our house for a great profit and be laughing about it in five years about the whole thing.

M: Its not about money, Trust me. I will never Laugh about this sitch , ever. I will move on but to me , it will never be a laughing matter.

She went on a tangent how she will struggle for the rest of her life and that how she will probably have to get a waitress job to make ends meet and how she will never have enough money to treat her kids how they deserve.

M: The kids will NEVER lack for all they need. Dont concern yourself about that. The kids will always be provided for.

(it bothered me that she said that because she is right, they will never have the monetary things they could have had but LOVE is the key and they will have lots of that )

M: Look wife , i was just having a little fun with you and the haggling, when you have calmed down, then we can arrive at a fair price. Dont worry about that

W: Didnt sound like you were kidding. I dont know what kidding is anymore.

M: We used to kid all the time. IT was fun. I havent changed that aspect of myself. We used to be such good friends.

W: I know, Im sorry. I just dont know when you are kidding anymore.

M: Okay well, im making dinner and have to get ready to coach soccer. About the hutch , you can obvioulsy have it, I just thought that if you had nowhere to keep it because your place is so small, I could store it here as is until you need it. No hidden agenda.

W: That sounds good, I dont need it right now. I just thought since my brother was here.

M: YOUr call, I did not once say that you couldnt have it and even the furniture, I just said I was hoping that you wouldnt want it.

M: Okay,

W: No problem

M: ONe more thing, this weekend, Im getting out of dodge and wondered if you could keep son one more day .

W: Why were are you going ?

M: Im not really sure, just getting on my bike and riding, I have two destinations in mind but not sure which one Im going to take.

W: Oh, well I have plans on Sunday. ITs my only weekend off.

( I know that means her and OM have somthing cooking for her birthday on the 28th , gave me a little jolt but said nothing)

M: Okay , well then I will have to ask somebody to look after him that day as I already asked for a perosnal day at work and got it. Its my birthday on the MOnday.

W: Dont you want to spend your birthday with your sons.

M: I will, I will take them out for dinner after school and we will get a cake.

MOre to post