The big punch

[Redo]

25, thanks for your feedback.

Her L will probably explain things to her. Sometimes the best thing a spouse can hear from an unreasonable one, is that the unreasonable WAS has a L b/c then they get some "reality" therapy.

So odd you should say this because wife seems to listen better when her lawyers says the same stuff. I guess because the personal stress is taken away. Who knows.

Your d comes first, which means your R with her comes first. Stop acting in fear of your w, and putting that fear ahead of all else. It was your fear (major conflict avoidance & maybe some shame??)

Believe me, I've never been this assertive during my 11 years of marriage. That is why it is so weird for me. But I think it the right thing to do.

Myk, She will NOT 'wake up' and tell herself she's gotten all this and that she was unfair or selfish. That's a lesson she'll have to learn when consequences come her way. So far, YOU have prevented any such consequences, so why would she think SHE has been unreasonable?

You are very correct here. I have been very accommodating for most of her requests. But i guess it is because i am taking the wasy way out. If i have to learn from life, i'll have to face the conflicts too. I've learnt this after joining this forum. Nowadays I am dealing with them much better. I am doing this because consciously i want to become a stronger person.

You'll do right by your d by having a real R with her. That means time with her. No way should you allow her name change, imo. No way.

What possible reason exists for that? The "shame" of being a child of div? Really? When did that matter to your w? It's a lie. Don't allow it. Any issue related to your child, you need to assert. In the long run I don't see how that hurst you with your w and I also, do not care if it does.

Yea i dont have any plans to allow the name change to happen. I was in a fog when i did agree to it in january.

Her reason for the name change : she said that since daughter would be living with her and seeing more of her parents, she did not want daughter to ask why her last name was different from that of her mom's (my wife's). That i think is a really bad excuse from my wife. The problem has been that wife really started paying undue importance to what my daughter was saying.
when daughter was 26 months, she asked my wife if she was happy. I dont know where or how she picked that up. This got my wife thinking that she indeed was not happy in the marriage and that even daughter began to see that. My wife told me that one of the big reasons for her seeking divorce was because daughter began to see and understand or martial issues. I could be wrong, but i think daughter would not know much at 26 months. That just sounded like BS from wife. But i dont dispute that with wife because she would not understand.

Right now i am on the fighting path. I am just fighting for a fair share to spend time with my daughter. I am caring much about the property skew. I can always earn that back. But if i lose my daughter, i cannot get her back.