Wow, I am absolutely overwhelmed with the responses here.
I find that I do not need to come back and drink from the fountain as often as I used to but when you do need it, the water sure is good......
Thank you all.
Update.....
I had an "family counseling" appointment yesterday with my D14 and a social worker, this is part of my D14's treatment program....no real purpose of the meeting other than to gauge where my D14 is at and talk about what things will look like when she returns home.
Well the meeting was only supposed to last an hour and I was there for 2 hours...........
My Daughter is doing much better......not out of the woods but doing better.
She can somewhat remove herself from the situation and can see what she needs to do.......detach from Mom......just does not know how to do it.
What is amazing to me is how much of what she is doing is DBing.
She is using the same language....Detach, Expectations, Spinning.....finding her path. I hate that she is dealing with this crap right now.......I feel as though she has somewhat been robbed of her childhood.
However....
I am glad that these issues are being dealt with now and not swept under the rug to be dealt with later in life in the form of my D14's own Mid Life Crisis. It can truly have a multi-generational impact......looking back on my XW's family history I can clearly see that this disfunction has been passed down for 4 generations now. IT STOPS WITH HER.....HOPEFULLY.
More than likely my D14 will get out of the hospital today or tomorrow......they are fine tuning her meds and want to make sure everything is stable.
As for my XW, I called her after the meeting. She had been texting me prior to find out the status of our D14. My XW does not have access to my D14 at the hospital nor can she get any information, there is a security code you must have when you call in. These were the wishes of my D14 and the staff in the facility have to follow her wishes, which they agree with her on...... Contact with her Mother would not help my D14, and my XW has complied with those wishes.
I gave my XW the factual details of our D14, without any of my thoughts or opinions, just the facts. After that I continued to talk to my XW about the fragile state that our S10 is in, I also told her of his breakdown on Sunday night b/c he missed her and the fact that she had not returned his calls over the weekend. Again I was very factual.
I said..... The last time you spoke to S10 was Friday morning when you dropped him at school. He tried to call you twice on Friday night and left a voice mail. He tried to call you four times on Saturday and left another voice mail. He did not hear from you all weekend nor did he hear from you on Monday. It upsets him when he misses you and you do not return his calls.
That is all I said on that then I told her that I needed to tell her something else.
It is unacceptable that I cannot reach you or get a return call from you in a reasonable amount of time when it concerns the children......especially when one of them is in the hospital.
I tried to call you Sunday night after S10 went to bed, I tried on my cell, my home phone and left a message on your voice mail. I then tried to call your boyfriend's number which you have instructed me to use in the past because of lack of coverage on your phone when you are visiting him. His voice mail is full and he has no personalized greeting to let me know if I even reached the correct number.
This is unacceptable.......please do something about it.
Her response was that she would take care of it.
While I was talking I kept my voice calm and cool and it was very businesslike......
However
My hands were shaking I was so mad just talking about it.
When I got off the phone and calmed down I contemplated what would have happened if I "Blew her out of the Water"......
If I had unloaded on her she either would have hung up or responded in kind.......never really hearing the message that I wanted to get through to her......which was......
Make herself available within a reasonable amount of time when it concerns the kids.
Message sent.
Message delivered.
Mission accomplished.
More on my thoughts around my children in a bit.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
