AJM80, I will pray for you.

IMO, do both, listen and be heard. Simply stating what you need and want factually in a non confrontational manner is not controlling.

Having expectations and attempting to steer the outcome to expectations is controlling.

Control yourself; allow him to do the same.

BITS
Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55
D 30
S 27

You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill