Just nournaling. Being back here has been thought provoking. One of my friends reminded me that back when H left me last time he had been stuck on not completing college and getting a job in much the same way he is stuck on completing the house. I hadn't thought to compare the two situations, but it's true that H is behaving the same way --cutting people out of his life, changing the parameters of his "mission", making excuses, seeking perfection, etc. I accepted all of the "reasons" for his ever moving targets and made excuses for him and tried to reason with him but he was as dissmissive of me then as he is now.
Also talk with SIL was very revealing. First she said that horrid BIL's reaction to the news I had left H was that he announced his intention to go to bed, as though he couldn't care less. Not very supportive, but the guy is toxic. Second she said neither of them was surprised and that she had been telling him for years that I am young, beautiful, intelligent and talented and if H didn't come live with me some man would snap me up. WTF!!! What a horrible thing to say about me... as if I would even entertain cheating on my H, as if I can't handle myself in the presence of would be suitors. It was wholey offensive, and the fact that she chose to scare H with the prospect of losing me rather than give him a valid reason to get his act together, like he was missing out on the life we could have had together just speaks to the kind of toxic person she is. All I can say for ILs is double-yuck. Not going to miss the toxic twins at all. Too bad H chooses them over me.
