I don't know why...

[New2day]

I just got done reading Trustings thread. I envy her. She's gotten through ALL the bad stuff and has moved on with her life. She has found peace. I pray that one day I will find that in my life. It has been such a long hard road and still I find myself thinking of Ex. Wondering why... why he left me, why he hurt me and our children, why for her. I believe those that say we'll probably never get an explanation, but I still wonder sometimes just the same.
My life is good as long as I keep looking forward. But I miss so very much and on occasion I can't help myself from looking back. I don't see or talk to Ex anymore but he is still in my thoughts most of the time.