OMW - from reading all your stuff as you went through it, I think you really are back and forth about what you want from her. When I am feeling angry at my H, I try to think about the other reasons why it is good to stay the DB course, the kids, the money, convenience, improving myself/dealing with his betrayal, avoiding this in future relationships, etc. Sometimes I cannot see myself being happy with him, but deep inside I am pretty sure I can be (or I would never have lasted this long).
These guys have good advice - and I'd add, regardless of what you want in marriage/divorce, you want her to come out of the fog for your D's sake. DBing is good for that.
Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible. --Stanislaw Lem
