Though I have not written much, I read these boards regularly and contribute when I can. Through most of this I have been pretty okay for the most part. But for some reason, starting on Sunday, I have broken down sobbing everyday. I am feeling so alone. I have friends, but they all work and have families and don't really check in on me anymore. I go days at a time without any real adult human contact. I think I have crawled back into my shell and really am struggling to reach out to my friends. I can't really talk to my mom who just gets so angry about this whole sitch and at H. I just don't want to listen to it. I am still looking for a job and I am struggling financially. I am thankful that D16 has found a job and that will help. I am continuing to paint and prepare to put my house up for sale. Hopefully I will have a realtor come next month.
I have lost my peace this week and can't seem to find it right now. I am still praying and looking to God daily. But I feel like I am back at day one. Really, the pain is so physical and crippling at times. I am at a loss right now. I need a kick in the butt. I just want it all to stop. I want to find my dream job and a nice pace for me and D16 to live that I can afford and enjoy. All the upkeep here at the house is overwhelming at times.
Okay, maybe this journaling will help get me out of the pity party I am having!!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
