Ok let's clear some things up We were at a reputable club. In the end it was just one big tease. That being said all dances were done as a couple.
If you guys remember she never felt comfortable exploring with me. She wanted to just go and do her thing. That really hurt. Doing it together though different story. Like young at heart said plenty of couples go to strip clubs together. Now am I naive to think that this will be the end most likely not. There is a silver lining, for the first time in months I am a viable sexual candidate to her. Ever since Saturday she has been very worried that I would prefer one of those girls over her. She has worried that I may love her less now, she worries that I may fall in love with another girl. In other words I can tell she values me more now. Where she used to take me for granted, she is constantly seeking reassurance that I won't just "exchange" her.
Look guys I know how much I'm worth, I know I can pick up women. Seeing me interact with other women put things into perspective. We have had some heart to hearts lately, and I can tell that the open marriage bit is losing some lustre, because just like I have worried about losing her, I can now tell she worries about losing me.
We both agreed yesterday that right now doing things by ourselves is just too hurtful to each other. We also agreed that doing things together can be a lot of fun. Now what exactly means were not sure yet. We know we would both like to go to a strip club together again. We also know we would both be uncomfortable if one of us went alone.
Just last night we watched adult videos together, something that we never would have done in the past before. She was just too jealous about it. Did I mention we saw about 2 minutes before we wound up ml. She even said that she just wanted an excuse to ml with me. For the first time I could tell she wanted me, and didn't even need alcohol (if you guys remember she once said that was the only way she could). She wanted me in a way she hasn't in years.
She even told me, I was very handsome, and girls think I'm cute. She hasn't said anything that flattering in months.
So yeah were still playing with fire. Before though she wanted to plunge into the chasm by herself, not caring about me, because as you guys have said she had taken me for granted.
Now were taking baby steps in exploring a better sex life together. Look guys as of now no lines have been crossed. Yes lines may be crossed one day, on the other hand we may find that all we needed was a little bit of kink, or a lot. As long as we are both happy that is all that matters. If we get to the point where one demands more from the other than they can handle, then yes we go back to square one where I was before. Yes I will have to more than likely leave her.
We are for once working on improving our sex life together, not by each seeking things separately. Where that road takes us I'm not sure. It sure is better, than where we were before Saturday. Let's face it we were plateauing, something had to change.
Ok all that being said I know I haven't been a good DBer I apologize for that. I even considered no longer posting here. Dont want people to think that my actions are DB doctrine. I know they are not.
Not to sound like a downer, but on Friday and Saturday I was about ready to give up. Something had to change, and it did. Is this the silver bullet we had been waiting for probably not, but I feel positive steps have been taken.
I also need to point out that I will be true to myself. I had fun on Saturday. If we ever get to the point where I am no longer happy. I will have to do what I have to do. I just know that I am not there yet, and as long as we are both considerate of each others feelings I think things will be good.
