A New Chapter Begins

[MHL]

Why not blow her out of the water? MHL?

Trust me Jack, I want to......I want too.

For now, I will say that is not who I am anymore. I was a complete ASSHAT prior to the bomb. I worked very hard for the changes in me and that is not who I am anymore.

There is so much more, but I need to sleep on it and visit back tomorrow.

Okay, a little sleep helps and certainly the coffee has kicked in and a boring sales meeting allowed me the time to think about this some more.

Blowing my XW out of the water for her poor parental decisions would be a bad idea now (post divorce) just as it would be a bad idea if I was still interested in reconciliation.

I have to ask myself the following.....

What do I reasonably expect the outcome to be?

How will she feel after I unload?

How will I feel after I unload?

Will it make a difference long term???

I am still dealing with a person in MLC, she is going to do whatever she wants to do, and even if I can somehow affect her behavior short term the changes will not have come from within her and will not be real.

Worst case scenario is that there is a relationship that forms YET AGAIN between my XW and my D14....and then the MLC kicks back in and my D14 gets hurt YET AGAIN......

AND

I get mad AGAIN...

And anger you and upset your children.

This is the cycle that is repeating over and Over and OVER again.

I have spent much time running away from the storm of my XW's MLC, I have put that distance in place and I am at a safe distance...........FOR ME.

I forgot something............MY KIDS.

They are standing in the cyclone and they are getting plumeled.

I cannot stop the storm

I cannot snatch them away....(even though I would like to)

Help them detach from their mother's craziness.

Any way you need to.

Tell them she is sick right now and it is NOT about them.

You probably have done this but it seems that you must give up the hope that their mother will act responsibly with regard to their emotional needs for a mother.

This is what I have to do but I will say that it becomes a challenge as I have 2 children standing in 2 very different places.

Again thank you for the thoughts and prayers to all my friends here.......

Cheers