Numb from the shock of having W tell me she wants a D, and yet when I look at everything we had to deal with, it's probably a wonder we lasted this long:
1.Our marriage was the result of an affair we had while we were still married to first spouses (80% failure rate for these)
2.We were dealing with a severely autistic child who was not mine, and therefore W was very protective of him to the point where I was not allowed to step in at all. She scheduled her life around him.
3. We both brought tons of emotional baggage with us, and never learned how to deal with it.
4. W never got over the guilt of her first divorce and our affair.
5. My temper and her temper made for some very bad years.
6. Instead of bringing her problems up for us to look at, W stuffed everything away until it all blew up.
7. My drinking caused the biggest meltdown on New Years’ Eve several years ago.
8. Money has always been tight; only this year have we had a decent joint income.
So now I'm in self-flagellation mode; what could I have done to prevent this? Why didn't I see this coming? Why wasn't I more sensitive to her needs and moods?
Woulda/coulda/shoulda...
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
