There is no marriage to salvage with her, so saying you can do what needs to be done for your children.
And the poor me crying time of hers? Best time to hit them, make the crocodile tears real ones.
Don't expect it to help her though.
If I understand what Jack is saying
is to protect your children. Boundaries.
IMO there is so much guilt wherever she turns she cannot get away from it unless she disconnects with the ones she is causing pain. You and your children.
SO
Piling on more of the same? Guilt?
She IS NOT rational and applying logic to this will fall on deaf ears.
And anger you and upset your children.
Buddy my prayers go out to you.
The best thing you can do, and I don't have kids but it seems that you must do all you can for your children...
... what you did for yourself and that is...
Help them detach from their mother's craziness.
Any way you need to.
Tell them she is sick right now and it is NOT about them.
You probably have done this but it seems that you must give up the hope that their mother will act responsibly with regard to their emotional needs for a mother.
Interaction or non interaction with her is MORE damaging at this point than trying to get her to respond in a positive way.
Yes she has rights to see her children and be in their life but where is the boundary?
What is the boundary? to protect your children?
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
