I've gone back to my hometown for a graduation and to visit friends. H called Friday before I came out and I let him know I intended to visit the house he's renovating with a realtor friend. He said he's always around and would give me the new keys. I told him I would confirm if it would be Mon or Tues and let him know.. On Sun I couldn't get through to his phone or Voicemail so I sent an email aroud 4:30 confirming the appt for Monday afternoon. I didn't hear back until 6 the next morning when he sent an email saying something about not knowing my plans, that he hadn't slept, he might go to ER and had an appt in the morning (that he hadn't mentioned on Friday) and wanted to reschedule with me and the realtor for Tuesday. I changed the realtor appt and wished him feeling better. By chance I called my cousin who is at my apartment just as H walked in the door there (700 miles away). No wonder he hadn't slept.
I guess he doesn't have to explain himself to me. He has no one to visit out there, so I assume it had to do with the D and I'll find out one awful way or the other. When it comes down to it the only thing that really ticked me off was his pretending it was somehow my fault he didn't know my plans before he left town and dodged the appt. I was perfectly clear that I was in town and would set the appt for Mon or Tues. He was adamant that he was always at the house, and didn't mention appts. Then suddenly it's "I made other plans because I didn't know what you were doing" ... and couldn't pick up a phone. Oh well. He got a little rest there and then got in the car to drive back. In the middle of all of this I got a frantic call from his brother wondering why he hadn't called or come home, so he apparently told no one he was leaving town. My cousin didn't think he was looking well at all. The whole thing was very strange and creeped me out a little. I suggested he just stay there and start packing since he wants to move his things this weekend, but he wasn't comfortable with not being here when the realtor and I (and some imaginary parade of people) are in the house. Whatever... I think he needs rest more than I need a chaperone, but my opinion isn't relevant as usual. Lessons: If your weird WAS is taking his or her sweet time about making a plan with you, it's probably okay to follow up before making other plans. I know some DBers have gotten yelled at for pressuring, but I was always unafraid to risk poking the bear with a reasonable request. Also please call your relatives before you leave town overnight or leave them a note or call them in the morning. Finally don't freak your WAS out by popping in on them unexpectedly, even if you know they aren't home. It looks suspicious and stalkeresque.
