OnMyWay: to who knows where?

[OnMyWay]

Damn the twists and turns. This wouldn't even make good fiction - not realistic enough,

However, if I handle this right, I may get one last chance for some DBing fun before this all goes to h*ll.

After the MIL talk, I've mentally quit, down right given up. After all, it's what WAW wants, right? Re-detaching was easier this time. I feel good again.

However, she's texting and wondering and worrying.

She texted me last night after I posted above, asking if I was upset with her. I, of course, said "No. What would make you think that?" She blew it off.

Got home tonight and didn't bother with any witty banter - just went straight to my night time routine. Not what she expected, apparently. She asked me if everything was ok. I said, "Sure. I'm a little tired, but everything is good." Off she went. She leaves and I wait for her to go through the outer gate before I turn off the outside light and go to bed. She waited outside the door for a long time. WTH?

Then, she texted me again, asking me what was going on, why am I protecting myself and if she said something. Before I could get off a reply, she called to complain I was withdrawn and that had made her feel unwanted at the movies. I told her I had been nervous about going to the movies, but I had fun and thought we had done well together. She said ok and we ended the call. What had she expected: a medal for making a half-assed effort of sitting in a dark room with hundreds of other people watching a movie as ... what? I dunno?

Then she text me again with "I feel stupid now... I'm sorry. I guess its best I don't try to get involved."

I responded with, "Don't feel stupid. Ur fine" while saying to myself, "WHATEVER, psycho! Operator, stop the ride, I wanna get off!" Actually, I have no desire to get back on this damn roller coaster.

So, my question is, WTH is going on here? I admit I'm at a loss of wanting to participate and don't really care, but this flip-flop thing of "leaving me alone I don't love you-why aren't you paying attention to me" is more than even my twisted mind can manage. Last major conversation, she seemed pretty determined to end it and I'm pretty good with that at this point. Any one have any suggestions?

My thinking is to let her sit and stew on this for a long time. She has every evening here alone with no more school work to distract her. I don't need her. If I handle this right, I can make this all be her problem, while I move on to bigger an better things. Is that mean of me? I dunno. I am just tired of the good fight. She had once commented that I continued to talk to her as her friend, the way we always had. Now, I don't want her to know anything about me, what I'm doing, or who I'm with.

Just when I thought I couldn't go any darker, I've surprised myself yet again.