What to do next

[JustStunned]

Journaling W called tonight. I briefly considered not answering, but picked it up. I smiled and was cheery when I answered it.

W was not cheery and informed me of the upcoming four day weekend and wanted to know when we could meet to work on the house to get it ready for sale. I told W I was not aware of a four day weekend, that Memorial Day only gave me three days off.

W said three days then and pressed to work on the house. I told W I had not made plans to work on the house. W wanted to know when I would give documents about assets and liabilities, CMAs and the other documentation to the attorneys. I told her I had dropped that off today except for the vehicle titles, that I could not find the title for her vehicle or mine. She informed me she had the title to her vehicle and had copied it already. She stated she did not have mine, but would look for it.

She wants to come to the house and remove other things she considers hers. I told her no not until after the Ls had looked the inventory list over and I had spoken with my L.

She wants her fairy knick knacks, our children’s pictures, and other small items. In retrospect I should have told her to come over and take them. I did tell her I was not opposing her decision and she would have them in time, but I would not be taken advantage of.

I told her these conversations were confrontational largely because she begins with a demand and swings a sword around. I told her she would get farther if she could dial down the anger and we could have a calm conversation. She paused and agreed she was aggressive and demanding in these conversations. Her tone was condescending. I told her now she was being condescending. She was quiet for a moment, but she stayed on the phone.

Swing the 2X4s if you must, but frankly up to now W has been verbally abusive and I have not called her on it. Permitting this was only escalating the drama.

We spoke about the RV and if her interested party was still interested. They are not. I told her I had not heard anything for the other posting. I tried to convey to her it was over priced in this market. That we needed to lower the price and would have to make up the difference between what we owed and what we sold it for to transfer the title. She does not seem to understand this and she will not permit it to sell for less than what we owe. This virtually guarantees it will not sell.

When W made her bombing run she structured the first disillusionment taking all of the home equity leaving me with all of the debt and a substantial spousal support payment. When my L looked it over he told me the court would not even permit such a lopsided agreement, and if I wanted to agree with it I could find another L. At the time we all assumed there was some equity in the house. W does not yet know we are underwater and I wish to speak with my L about it before I speak with W. I am concerned she will take the same tack as with the RV.

I do not wish to part with the house, but how to keep it is what I need to speak with the L about.

So I know this convo was not in the finest DB tradition, but at least we were able to have a conversation this time instead of a verbal confrontation. There is more.

Our son sent an email to me. He is in country near one of the southern cities that has been in the news lately. The day before he left he found out he will be a father when he returns. This will be our first grandchild. I spoke with the DIL last Saturday about it and other things. It was one of the more pleasant convos we have had.

I spent last Friday night with family. We mobbed the latest Pirates movie. I will not spoil it, but I will suggest everyone stay through all the credits as there is a final scene at the very end. I had a busy weekend GALing and helping Mom with two trees that the wind blew down.