Hi AJM80, thanks for posting. Yes the opposite of love is indifference not hatred. Up to now I have been attempting to maintain bearing in the face of all this, no reaction. It has not been working very well. It was an attempt to 180. As one of the things W complained about was my inability to control my anger.
In the weeks prior to the bomb she purposely confronted and button pushed. I reacted badly. It was not until reading DR in context of this sitch that I realized she had justified her decision to leave.
Some of that changed tonight. Maybe I can take it further and wish her happiness. I want her to be happy. I don’t want to be martyred for her happiness. It isn’t about being right. It is about standing for my principals confidently. Wishing her happiness doesn’t cost anything.
The relationship between W and Mom is so damaged I fear it will never be repaired. One of the SILs intervened the last time after the fact. I was not involved. I did not speak with this SIL about it. Our daughter was upset and vented to her Aunt. I understand W now understands how inappropriate her behavior toward Mom was. I understand it required quite a bit of conversation to get the point across, that the SIL had to convince W to consider Mom’s point of view by putting her in Moms role, our DIL in hers and our Son in mine.
The fog seems to be thinning again. The last time it did W replayed back to the beginning becoming the 15 yr old spewing hatred and rebellion.
I’ve followed most of your sitch missing parts when this drama intensified. I really don’t know what to post to you most of the time and you have gotten some great advice. I do understand how exhausting and frustrating this all is.
Once more into the breach dear friends, once more into the breach.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
