Thanks girls,
I attended alanon tonight and it was again a great meeting. I just love this support group. It makes me feel good about me.

I asked if we could discuss anger and how others dealt with it, and people were more than willing to share. It was great.

I told them that so far the 1st week of alanon taught me that I needed to keep coming back cuz I felt like these people understood my pain and agony.That the 2nd week of alanon taught me that I was in denial for a looooonnnnngggg time about my H's alcoholism and I finally admitted to myself thats our major problem in our M. And that the 3rd week of alanon opened my eyes to reality of the abuse I have taken from my H over the past 4 yrs and that it had givin me a whole new reality of our M sitch, and unfortunately now I am dealing with a lot of anger.

They all understood, and commented on the amount of progress I am making allready.

***One person said, that anger leads to resentment: and resentment is like a poison that I take and expect the other person to die from. Wow, how true.
***Another person said: Anger is associated with our own fears, and to look deep inside at what scares me thats cusing me this anger. In that case, its my fear of a D (the end of my rel. with my best friend I ever had), which I cannot control and need to let it go to God and trust his path for me.
***Many also said, I am doing the right thing by not responding to his craziness and texts. They said i am getting the ball thrown my way but not throwing it back and hense that stops them in their ball-game.
***Another said, When I feel the anger-to say a slogan instead of dwell on that anger.

Revelations.... ahhh.... I feel better allready.

When I got back from alanon, I turned my phone back on and saw that H text me again and said: "I am going to reopen the old Jimmys tavern and call it Marbles tavern and I would love it if you would do some art-work/paintings for the walls".

I didnt respond. This tavern he is talking about is about 1/16 of a mile down the road from my house (Litterally 4 houses/buildings away). The art he is implying about is becuase I have picked up doing art/paintings/mosiaics/crafts these past 4 yrs since GALing and have done rather well with it.
This place is sure to bring him under...Wow, and he has a full time construction/roofing business that he has worked very hard on the last 3&1/2 yrs to get back to a positive working order since his bankruptcy in '07. He will not be able to do both. I dont even know how he thinks he will afford to do the bar (no credit,liquor licsence, or experience).

I feel so bad for him as he is so lost and confused right now. I actually do have compassion for the alcoholic in my life. But I will not do art for him, I feel like that would be enabling him more or helping his bar efforts and lifestyle. What is he thinking????* I know I know, he is not thinking!!!
TIPPER