back again

[any chance?]

W asked what I was going to do about the D papers as I was preparing to leave. That started a conversation about how she has tried as hard as she is going to, she needs to move on to find happiness, and how the door is closed. She is not willing to try again, and will not put her life on hold for another year. She says she is done.

I read her the letter I had for her. About her depression and need for happiness and how our R is not the entire reason for her unhappiness. A nice, heartfelt letter. Not sure if giving it to her was a mistake.

I agreed to sign the D papers. I guess that means I have dropped the rope. She is free to do what she wants, which means leaving me and moving out west. She says she needs to start over. She will probably move out while I am gone for the next two weeks.

Like Michelle says when describing LRT in DR, one of the likely outcomes is that the door is so firmly closed that all hope is lost. My soul tells me that is where I am now.

Never thought I would lose hope.....but I think I have.