I had almost 4 years to heal from my separation. In my eyes I was divorced before I was but didn't file because I was afraid of losing my house and everything else. I was over my ex before I started dating. I was doing things on my own and enjoying life.
This new guy told me up front that he wasn't looking for anything more than being friends and going out and having a good time. We did that in the beginning and I didn't mind how things were going. I have a 17 year old and I can't get serious with anyone until she graduates, so I wasn't looking for "love" either. It just found me. I have spoken with someone that knows me and this guy and they said they think he is just afraid of the feelings that he has. He is overwhelmed with everything. He didn't say we would never see each other again, just that we need a break. I agree with that. I just have a hard time needing reassurance. I know no one knows what is goin to happen but I'm just looking for people to talk to. It helped me the last time and I'm hoping it helps me this time too.
Like with my ex, I stopped doing things with my friends and focused on him and my kids. I had no life. I see myself going down that road again and I think this new guy (we will call him B so I dont have to keep putting new guy) saw that and knew I needed to get back out there and find me and enjoy myself again.
B was married once before and his ex cheated on him. He said he didn't think he really ever loved her, just that he felt it was time to get married and settle down. He says he knows he was wrong for doing that. then he met another lady who he was with for 9 years and they have a daughter. He told me that he was in love with her and it was hard when she lied to him about stuff, cheated on him and started pressuring him about stuff. So, I do think he is afraid of letting his feelings out. He told me that he cared a lot for me but even if he loved me he wouldn't tell me cuz he didn't want us to get dragged into all the relationship committment stuff. He said that is when problems start.
