You mentioned above that you were 'out of your element'; and that's exactly wrong. You are what you have always been. Supportive mother and friend, there for your kids through thick and thin. It is your element that XH and OW has invaded.
In my experience, people usually try to make a spectacle of themselves when THEY are feeling out of their element. A pitiful cry of "Hey, look at me, how great I've got it" Fortunately, most people around will just be embarrassed for him. Others will be appalled.
Regardless, although I am sorry for your son's sake, you acted perfectly. Now, unfortunately, it is up to your son to tell his Dad to grow up or not show up, but let that be his decision.
You are doing great Irish, just having a bit of down time. Put it to good use. ((HUGS))
