I don't know what you expect us to say. We're not your parents, or the marriage police. We're here to help each other work a specific solution based approach to creating & saving healthy marriages.
If you sheepishly write posts that are deliberately vague, & hint at "being in trouble", it's just impossible to advise.
And why apologize to us? We're not the ones affected by your choices.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016