Help, old timers please

[Return10]

OK now a dilemma. I haven't been able to relax upstairs in our bed even though I've tried, for about a week, so I've been sleeping downstairs and falling asleep listening to books on tape. I can concentrate on that and relax enough to sleep. Guess I'll go up and check on him. The aforementioned promise was about legally adopting my daughter. It would make it so much easier for her if something happened to us. He talked to her about it and brought papers the last time we were up there but he didn't fill them out properly. Kind of like proposing and forgetting the ring. It's been nearly a year and he still hasn't done anything. Ouch. It feels so terrible. I really do have a hard time understanding that he really wants this marriage, this family when he doesn't follow up on something as emotionally charged as this. I feel like a fool. I feel like he is treating my daughter poorly. We are about to go up there again and months ago when the trip was planned, (it's our grand daughter's graduation), I asked if he could finish this up. He is so conscientious at work how can he not take care of something like this if he's committed to us? I feel like a half dead mouse that this cat, my H, who is supposed to love me, is playing with. I suppose it really does sound to most people here like he is having an affair and I'm in denial. Entirely possible. Whatever the reason, this is hurting my self respect. I don't want to have to live begging for crumbs any more. Time for a plan that will help restore some dignity. Still not one OR word for several days. This is an internal job of dignity repair. I'm staying down stairs not out of anger, out of self preservation. I'm turning up my charm meter. Doing some life affirming activities, GALing big time here I come but folks this is really hurting and I need some help.