I know that my W pain is much more intense than mine, and she was betrayed by someone close to her. -blah blah--->Might not pay off but would never forgive my self for not trying.
Maybe others have a nicer way of putting this, but just save yourself the time, money, and heartache your wife will have by initiating the divorce right now. Read that first line again - someone close to her?
Are you so screwed up that you can't even say YOU betrayed her, even on an anonymous internet forum?
And YOU might not forgive YOURself for not trying for MY (not OUR) family?
Nothing in there on how to act so your wife may be inclined to forgive you.
Wow..just wow. You sound like you want to go through the motions, but - at least for now - not in a place where you're willing to do what it takes to make your relationship work. That's ok, lots of people do that, there's no shame in it.
Like another person put, you don't even know if it's worth saving, at least let your wife go so she can find someone who will adore and respect her and treat her like gold instead of whatever it is you are considering.
Now the true question of what kind of man you are is when she no longer cares about you and accepts that she doesn't need a husband twisting in the wind over his own little boy issues and finds a man who owns up to being faithful.
Read that first line you posted again - out loud to her - just to see what it sounds like.
