Hi LSL - I just decided to check DB again and here you are! Great to get caught up with you. I'm not sure if I still have your phone number - so give me a call.
I'm in the same sitch as before - it's been almost 10 years and I feel that I have lived in Hell part of that time. If only the ones who cheat could regain their humanity and feel the pain that adultery causes. Saw my H yesterday for the 2nd time in 2 weeks - not for most of 3 years before that. Now he can't even look me in the eye - appears very old and sick.
Our kids and their families have moved on - but they haven't had a Dad in a long time. They allow him back when he wants to come and then watch him disappear again.
God is still the only consolation for me, but too many times I have been so hurt (with lots of things that he and the OW have done through the years) that I couldn't pray. That's when God stays by me.
Being an older woman who lives alone is not for the weak. I have endured and gotten through so many catastrophes with no one to really help, that I amaze myself. The children do what they can, but ultimately it is up to me.
As usual I am thankful for my extended family and a few very good friends from "before". I pray daily for my husband's soul and have never been anything but kind to him. It will truly take a miracle for him to be saved I know.
