Need help...don't know what to do...

[chris1102]

I'm new, I have read the divroce remedy book twice since I got it a couple months ago. So here is my situation.

Me and my H dated for 7 years before we got married. We only have been married for a little over a year. We had a female roommate that we lived with and she decided that she was not happy with her own life and started messing with ours. She would try to say thing to make me mad at my H at first so she could see us fight for her entertainment. Things got worse the longer we stayed with her. She came to me one day after me and H had a huge fight and tells he that he is done with me and wants to know when I am moving out of the house. I tried not to react to her and I told her I wasn't going anywhere. She asked me why I was still here and I told her that me and my H had come a long way over the years and I wasnt about to give up on our relationship that easy. I went outside and called my H and asked him calmly about what she tried to tell me and he said if he was done he would tell me. She later had the nerve to send my a message on facebook telling me she was sorry and she had to do the right thing in her heart. That my H wanted us all to get along. She played the whole danzel in distress act to get my H's attention. She even had the nerve to tell my brother-in-law who is still in high school that she has been sleeping with my H for months. I had a couple confrontations with her and told this needed to stop. Things got worse, me and my H had more agruments and she would post what was going on between me and him on facebook for her friends to know. She convinced my H that he could drive her car since and him argued about my vehicle and about the way he drove it. So he started driving her car and taking her to class (she goes to college)and taking her to run her errands. Later, her parents helped my H get a work van and she left town with him to go pick it up. He got mad at me for going to his mom about the situation with our roommate. He just kept saying he was tired of it and if it didn't stop we were going to have to separate. I did all the wrong things when I was staying in the house. I begged,pleaded, and cried. I felt like I had no one to turn to. I started looking into trying to save our marriage but couldn't find anything on how to handle that situation with a single female roommate. She started tell her mom about how she wanted me out of the house and from there it got more hostile. She had these conversations with her mom when my H was on a call for work. She would tell her mom about how happy she would be when I got served with papers and if I didnt sign them she would hold me down and beat me till I did. On another occasion, she told her mom that she was thinking about telling my H there was going to be a homocide if I wasn't served with divorce papers. I ended up taking a friend's advice and leaving the house to stay at my dad's for awhile. Only to come back to the house a day later to find out that the locks had been changed on me. I found pictures on facebook of my husband groping the roommate inappropriately and tried to confront him about it and when ended up in an argument and he said he was going to file the divorce papers. He just kept saying I shouldn't have gotten everyone involved in this. I moved my stuff out and he kept our dog from me. It's been 3 months since I have left the house. I have lost 40lbs due to stress and exercise. I am so confused about him because it seems like he is going backwards instead of forewards. He would text me when the roommate was in class or not with him. He met up with me twice and just kept trying to tell me that he didn't cheat on me. I don't know if he was tryin to convince me or himself. He told me at one point that he want to fix this and I told him he couldn't do it alone we had to do it together. Two months ago he told me it was over and why wasn't I getting it and not to text him anymore. We went a whole month without talk to each other. since then, he has taken my name off of our business we started together and put the roommate's name on it instead. Since I had been staying at my dad's I have been praying every night for strength, patience, and guidance and help in saving our M. The end of last month he started texting me again and blamed me for getting everyone involved and said that he guesses I didn't think he wouldn't get mad about it. He apologized for things happening the way it did. He also said that was going to be the last text he was sending me. He ended up texting me since than, blaming me for something else. Two weeks ago, he texts me again wanting to know what I have been up to. Then tells me that if I shouldn't have gotten a friend involved because it didn't help any at all it just made him mad because she didn't ask him what happened. This friend he is talking about had received a message from the roommate talking abou that I needed to let him go and stop telling people my problems. That he his her best friend and she just wants to see him happy. the friend has known me and my H for a long time and she means well but she does not give the best advice. The roommate has it in her head that I have been served with divorce papers as she told this to my friend out of nowhere. My friend seems to think that my H is trying to keep me on a string as a backup plan just in case things don't work out with the roommate. The conversations he has with me start out somewhat positive and then go into him blaming me for something. I'm getting to the point where I need a concrete answer as to whether he wants to be M or if I should just go an file the paperwork. He still hasn't file the divorce papers but has told him boss that I am is ex wife already. I don't know how much I can take right now, dealing with this and finding out my aunt only has less than 6 months to live I have too much going on and its hard for me to be tough all the time. At the end of the day, I feel like I have to deal with all of this on my own when all I really want is my H to help through this with my aunt. I know I have read the book and seen the stories of what others have been through and it takes them a year to get things on track. I wish I knew where the strength came from to want to continue fighting. I feel like out of all my family and friends that have been married I'm the only that absolutely hates divorce and against it. They all act like its no big deal to get divorced.